Dashboard

Everyone seems to be talking about dashboards, but common project and organizational dashboards usually amount to no more than a few so-called idiot lights. Idiot lights possess one attractive feature—they are simple. That’s why we call ‘em “idiot lights.”

Idiot lights light up to tell us something is happening, but they have two severely limiting factors. First: they can only sense the absence of something. They can’t tell anyone what to do. Second: they measure trivial things. They can only be usefully attached to easily measured, rather than necessarily meaningful, components.

Any idiot can sense a difference and illuminate a light. It takes a master to determine from scant evidence how, or if at all, anyone should respond.

The real world is filled with complications which cannot be meaningfully assessed by idiot lights. What should we have on our dashboards?

Among all the writing focusing upon the essential components of operational dashboards, I find some useful gauges commonly overlooked. Here’s a small sampling of gauges useful when piloting an organization.

Assumptometer: This gauge measures the divergence from reality of assumptions. It glows green when assumptions mirror actual experience. But it glows red when divergences appear. The skillful operator can use this indicator to determine the angle necessary to bend over to maintain funding for their effort.

Altimidator: This gauge measures the pressure exerted to report that everything is fine. This gauge is very sensitive to political pressure and answers correctly the implied, unspeakable question, “How high would you like us to be?”

The Fool Gauge: This gauge measures the cubic furlongs of foolishness embodied in the current strategy. When a strategy is foolhardy, a red needle indicates “F” or “Full Of It.” Where well-grounded, the needle points to ‘E’, which stands for “Excellent”.

Narrometer: This gauge measures narrowness of vision. On mandate projects, which are trying to implement a single imperative alternative, the narrometer blinks a steady, warning red. Where the project fluidly discards unworkable alternatives, the gauge glows a reassuring go-ahead green.

Communitator: This gauge measures relative insulation from the community it serves. Where isolated, segregated, or protected from influence (or where the community receives only conditioned information), this gauge blinks an annoying red. Where the project is fully engaged with and frequently inconvenienced by their broader community, the gauge displays a green-glowing thumbs-up icon.

Methodometer: This simple gauge measures the number of enforceable rules governing the effort. Where many rules and threatening punishments exist, this gauge emits an annoying ‘boink-boink’ sound. Where the effort is guided by a few, well-acknowledged principles, this gauge is silent.

Odorometer: This gauge amplifies the smell of an organization. The slightest hint of the place going sour floods the cockpit with a noxious wind assertive enough to awaken even the most thoroughly entranced pilot.

Soil Pressure Gauge: This gauge registers, in cubic foot pounds, the pressure preventing full “disclosure” of whatever shit has not yet hit the fan. Pressures exceeding 300 pounds per cubic foot are not uncommon on enterprise-wide initiatives. Government-funded DoD efforts, like the Star Wars program, have been calibrated as maintaining thousands of cubic foot pounds of pressure over decades. The engineering needed to maintain containments can far exceed the engineering employed to produce the organization’s product, and tends to increase over time. Historical readings from this gauge are useful when designing information-containment vessels for upcoming efforts. Containment failures tend to be memorable “Oh shit!” experiences, and are measured in “pants full.”

Vacuum Pressure Gauge: This meter monitors the cumulative effects of group think on an organization. The readings are colloquially referred to as “suck.” Useful for determining the number of IQ points beneath mathematical average of the members’ IQs to expect from decision-making bodies. Generally, low vacuum pressure can be interpreted as wisdom, high vacuum pressure as stupidity.

These gauges represent a few of the readings we might monitor to inform ourselves about the state of our organizations. Interestingly, most people have these sensors built into their standard sensing systems but learn to ignore them. Don’t let the idiot lights distract you. They could make you respond as if you are dumber than you really are.

The master mechanic listens for more than the warning bells and sees beyond distracting idiot lights. He learns from experience to trust his own good judgment. There never has been a gauge that monitors its own usefulness.

I recently learned that the ‘check engine’ light, which had been worrying me whenever I started my car’s engine, was caused by a faulty sensor. It never had anything to do with my engine’s performance. I had nonetheless developed over time a long ritual of warming the engine, turning it off, then starting it again to idle, which seemed to reliably cause the alarming light to turn off.

What reassuring but meaningless rituals have the idiot lights on your dashboard encouraged you to adopt?